That part of my life seems to be…over? I haven’t seen him for…I dunno…a month, and it’s great! Actually brilliant!!!!!!!!
That part of my life seems to be…over? I haven’t seen him for…I dunno…a month, and it’s great! Actually brilliant!!!!!!!!
1. Speaking in another language about other people right in front of them.
2. Acting dumb.
3. Facebook.
4. Procrastinating.
5. The internet.
6. Materialism.
7. Over analysing.
8. Lying
9. My bad moods.
10. Being two faced.
Ok…I’m gonna let it all out.
One of my male best friends just told me about how he’s just fallen for someone completely different to whom he’s always been with. The girl he’s been with is one of my best friends, but I understand. He said that with this ‘new’ girl it feels so natural, where it never did with my best friend. He said he’s never felt like this before. This is coming from a guy who is known to have no feelings.
Thing is, me and * went through the same thing together. One of his friends is the first guy I ever liked, and we went through the whole shy, courting period together. But he said that looking back, everything seems so childish. How we were never able to express our feelings for each other, how everything seemed so forced, how we were made fun of by our friends, how we based everything on materialism.
It’s been what…? 9 Months. 9 Months since we were ‘together’ and I’m still not completely over it. I’m still clinging on. And for what? I know we’re not compatible, I know I could find someone that I get on with one hundred times better…so why am I so dead set on him? Still.
I’m going to delete my Facebook. Going to get over all of this shit. I’m not dragging him into 2012. No fucking way.
Et Mathilde le regarde, et le regarde, et le regarde.
This week most certainly has been an eye opener for me. I’ve learned many things about myself:
I am patient
I’m a people pleaser
Omg. I wish I didn’t send that bloody text. What if he thinks I’m trying to get back with him or something fuck
Tomorrow I’m 18. I want you OUT. But also here at the same time :)
I want those two A*s so badly, I know I can do it! I wasn’t given this talent for nothing.
I’m sitting in my room listening to my parents arguing. This isn’t a new thing, oh no. But I know what should happen, what will happen. I know what my mum wants to happen, my dad, my brother. But not what I want to happen. I’m going to try not to be selfish, because I know this will barely affect me. It’s my brother and my dad that I’m worried for.
